I am not religious, but I do understand what a sin is. I know and can feel what constitutes a sin, and I'm not talking the little ones, either. While my sins may not reside in the top 10 category, I can't help but wonder if they'd had more time to review, mine may have made it on. There's a lot on my mind right now. Do I confess? How? Confessing now will do nothing. It will not bring about reparations, nor will it absolve me of the time I spent carrying the guilt. I have been punished and will continue to do so. These are not the kind of questions someone without much faith knows who to ask them to. I cannot confess in the Catholic (or maybe Christian...I really don't know) manner, as it would feel as though I was mocking their idea of God. There's nothing wrong with their idea of God. I just wish it had stopped there. I've sinned, twice now, and I can't rid myself of either the sin or the punishment. The guilt feels like a wet sock in a slightly too-loose shoe. It controls me. But it does not become me.
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